Semen Analysis

The World Health Organization has developed the following values for normal semen analysis:

• Volume (how much ejaculate): 2 millilters or more
• Concentration (how many sperm there are): 60 million (per milliliter) or more
• Motility (percentage of sperm that are moving): 50% or more

KD's Results:

• Volume: Great (produced enough sperm for two intrauterine inseminations, IUIs)
• Concentration: >70 million sperm
• Motility: 20%

When Dr. B called with the results he gave me two options: a) take fertility medicine to produce 3-4 eggs per month or b) In-vitro fertilization, or IVF. In my case IVF is just not needed, not to mention it is very costly. I will begin fertility medicine with my next cycle.

Swim Sperm Swim

Tomorrow KD (known donor) will be seen by my doctor at the fertility group. He will leave his 'sample' and have blood work done. Admit it, I know all of you are wondering what the inside of that little room looks like, I know I am! Will there be magazines, movies, and if movies will they offer a wide variety? From what I read an intimate, comfortable, private room is designed to aid men in the collection of sperm samples. I'm going to meet him for lunch afterwards but I'll have to make some sort of joke to break the ice... come on we will both know what just happened!

I should have his results by the end of the day... swim sperm swim. If everything looks good, then the sperm will be stored in the freezer at their office.

Known Donor

Once adoption was off the table, I was faced with the decision of using either anonymous or open identity sperm donor. Open identity donors indicate a willingness to be contacted once the child has turned 18, but it's not guaranteed. Anonymous donors are just that, anonymous, however, not opposed to future contact. For me, the choice was a no-brainer, I would choose an open identity donor... only as a last result.

Unlike adoptees, whose primary question is often why their birth parents gave them up, donor- conceived children are typically focused on learning the donors' identity – and whatever it might reveal about their own. My ideal situation was to find a private donor (identity known to me) that I knew something about. Heaven for bid something should happen to my donor, I will be able to provide my child with information about the man that helped make me a mommy.

My donor...
Born in 1968, a third generation Kern County native grew up just south of Bakersfield. After graduating from high school, he discovered his talent for drawing and went on to San Diego State University to earn a BA in Arts and Applied Design. In 1995 he enrolled in the School of Design at north Carolina State University in Raleigh where he later received a Masters in landscape Architecture. While at NCSU, he began taking painting classes and found that he was drawn to San Joaquin Valley landscapes as his subject. His studies took him up and down the East Coast, Alaska, Europe, and South America. After graduation, he began a landscape design business. Along with design, he was commissioned to do local landscapes and murals. He is currently the Director of Education and Special Events at an art museum and continues to be in demand for residential landscape design and painting commissions. (Educational/professional bio not written by me.)

Adoption

I attended a Choice Moms symposium in July, 2009. At this networking event I had a chance to meet and greet a variety of people who were, in one way or another, involved in helping women become mothers. It wasn't until after hearing a woman speak so highly of open adoption that I ever considered it, but after listening to her story it seemed like the best of both worlds... I would become a mother and not have to worry about answering the inevitable "Who's My Daddy" question. With open adoption, I would probably, not always, know who the bio-dad was.

After the event I further explored, both emotionally and practically, the idea of adopting a baby. I knew a woman who had adopted a baby (nearly 18 years ago) so I contacted her in hopes of her sharing her experience with me. She was happy to meet with me and share such a personal part of her life, and answer questions I had. Taking time to process and reflect, I decided that adoption was not something I was going to pursue. My desire to experience pregnancy was the the most important factor in my decision.

www.choicemoms.org

Mother's Day Gift

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I had been expecting a call from the man I had asked to be my known donor. I had been rehearsing, revising, and re-rehearsing my responses to his decision all day. Having been denied before, I had my response pretty well memorized if they said no. I couldn't quite perfect, at least in my head, a response to him should he say yes. I mean, how do you thank someone for giving you the gift of life? A trip to Paris, a kidney... I don't know.

I received the call at 7:08 p.m. He said he would have called earlier but had to hunt down my number since he lost his phone. By this time I had already had wine, of course trying to act calm, cool and collected when he called! He said he had given it thought and decided he would be happy to help me!!! He didn't go without mentioning that his life-partner had some reservations, mainly concerning how this decision may impact his future, but overall I had his partners blessing. In fact, it was his partner that said, "This will be your last Mother's Day without a kid."

I have been given a gift of life, and for this, I am in debt to my known sperm donor.